Haven’t been to training since last tues because I’m terrified of failing and that session was a struggle. Since I’ve been slacking so bad it’s going to be hard and quite frankly, I’m starting to become afraid of the gym again and i don’t want to be. I want to feel comfortable at the gym, and I want to have a good schedule again to actually have set times i make myself go. i’m ready to get back on track. 

With that being said, i’m glad i was only off track for about 2 weeks. i shouldn’t have been at all but it is better than 2 months. or two years. it will be easier for me to get back into the swing of things now that things are less hectic and i’m excited. I think i found some new gym buddies for the days i don’t train, which will be nice, and we can all make each other go to the gym together. just to have a support system.

eating- i can’t even start with that one. DOES ANYONE ON HERE TAKE TOPAMAX??????? seriously. because it’s messing with my eating habits. i am NEVER hungry. but i know i need to eat to maintain energy/metabolism/i have to eat in general etc, but i’m not hungry enough, and even when i am i have an extremely limited appetite and only want to eat certain things. lean cuisines, cereal, oatmeal, eggs, toast, that’s literally it. i had sushi today but i need PROTEIN. i need FRUIT i need VEGGIES. i have also been doing this thing where i am hungry but i know if i eat i will feel nauseated so i don’t and end up feeling sick anyway.

the other night i got up in the middle of the night a puked. no headache didn’t feel sick, probably ate too much that morning but it was 12+ hours before so it made no sense. i don’t know.

any advice on topamax, getting back on track with weight stuff, ,eating, fixing eating habits and planning food, etc, i would GLADLY accept please.


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