Since I have been sick for what feels like, and what has been about a month now, I have been able to kind of step back and think about things on another level. I have kind of gotten into my own head the past few weeks, because the first week I was sick, I lost about 6 pounds, but I wasn’t eating at all.The two weeks after that, I gained a total of 1.4, which wasn’t all that bad considering I was eating normally so I think my body was balancing itself back out, so I was comfortable with it. Last week I lost a half a pound again even thought I didn’t work out, which made me really proud of myself. Any loss for me is a positive step int the right direction, and exactly where I want to be going.
Even though not working out has been extremely frustrating for me, I have also learned I am still able to lose weight by keeping on track of my points religiously during those overly busy weeks that maybe I can’t work out, or those weeks I am sick like I have been recently.
This week, I went on a walk and I am being a serious stickler about what I am eating because I really want my gala dress to looks absolutely perfect, even though I love it already! With previous weeks, I am all about giving yourself a little leniency and if you have a craving for something to let yourself have it in moderation, but this week I think I am going to get down to business and lower carbs this week and incorporate some moderate activity back into my schedule.
With alllll of that being said, now that I don’t feel sick anymore, I feel INCREDIBLE. I feel as though something is just clicking and working and there is so much I am realizing. I hear little things people say and I think “Oh yeah, i feel that way too”, and maybe I don’t realize how I feel until then, but it takes that for me to understand my own thought process.
I realized since I have joined weight watchers I have learned to trust- trust people around me, trust the people at weight watchers and what they tell me about the process, trust the process itself, trusting that I know what I am doing and that I am doing that right thing, trusting MYSELF. That was a huge was that I have transformed. The emotional and mental part of this has taken me so much more than just the physical part. The eating and the working out took me so far, but the place I am at, MENTALLY, is the thing that drastically got me to the place I am today.
The difference between who I am now, and who I was a year, or even two years ago, is that I have the confidence to say that I KNOW I will reach the place that I want to be. I have learned to be happy with myself even at my highest weight. That is when the weight started melting off. I didn’t need a “coat of armor” to protect me. I can trust in myself. I look at myself and see a new person. Those pictures of myself that I see from before are crazy to me, because it seems like it was not even me- the way I dressed the way I smiled the way I carried myself, it all seemed to be so different.
I noticed it today especially. Never in a million years did I think I could ever be able to throw on a shirt and jeans and be comfortable. usually it was a process- a tank top, a tshirt, some layers, things that were flowy, a hoodie, a jacket…anything that would hide my body. Not anymore. I felt amazing tonight because of one stupid outfit.
It’s little things like that for people like me you may not even realize can make all the difference for someone.
I am a different person than I used to be, and it can only get better from here.