This weekend has been a little bit crazy for me! Friday I spent a nice, relaxing night at home. I watched some movies, I snuggled on the couch, and I went to bed early because I knew Saturday was going to be a loooong day.
Saturday, I got up early and went to my usual weight watchers meeting. I was a little bit worried about this weigh in because my mind and heart were all over the place this week when it came to losing weight. When it comes to weight loss, if I am stressed out, I know that I won’t lose. I’ve been doing so well lately, even without working out, but this week I felt so much added pressure knowing it was the end of the Biggest Loser challenge. I overthought everything I ate. I drove myself nuts all week, almost to the point where I think I sabotaged myself a little bit.
I tend to do that with weight loss. When I allow it to be something that consumes my life, I don’t accomplish the things that I want to. When I approach it in a healthy way, and don’t deprive myself, and I am happy during the process, I succeed.
All I wanted to do was win the competition. Unfortunately, I didn’t. Throughout the course of the whole thing, I lost 13 pounds. I am really proud of myself for that, I really am, but I still cannot help being so disappointed that I didn’t win. It would have been a really motivating moment for me, and I just told someone today to use the things that piss them off as motivation, but I can’t even take my own advice.
I’m not sure if it’s a huge mix of PMS, being angry, being frustrated, and not knowing where to start to get back on track with working out…or just simply being pissed off that I didn’t win.
Saturday night I had the gala for the theater company I work with. I got super fancy with some of my incredible friends and drank and danced the night away. Everything about it was amazing. The only thing that would have made it a little better is if my boyfriend was there, and also if I had money to bid on some auction items! Laura, my friend who plays Millie in our production of Thoroughly Modern Millie, came over before and did my make up and we got ready together. We essentially looked exactly the same, right down to the way our dresses looked.
I had such a fun night with the best people that I know and I am so proud to be a part of the MTC family. These people are so incredibly smart, funny, talented, passionate, loving people that I know. I am thankful for them every single day.
Today, I’ve been a little bit moody, and I need to get myself back on track when it comes to working out because I think it will make me feel a whole lot better, but I don’t know where to start. I also really could have used a little pick me up like winning the BL challenge, but I guess I need to find other ways to motivate myself to work out. It wasn’t even so much about the money, but about the sense of accomplishing something like that. Luckily, I have been consistently losing weight regardless, and it can only get better once I get back in the gym. I mainly want to start working out again for my mental health.
I am very glad the challenge is over, because I do better without any pressure when I try to lose weight. I’m going to just continue to do what I have been doing and focus on my goal, since i’m only 35 pounds away!
I just want to say thank you to my family, MTC family, my friends, my boyfriend and anyone else who has come in contact with me who is following along through this crazy and sometimes awful journey. All of your love and support is what gets me through the hardest most annoying parts of some of this stuff I’m trying to do.
I’ll leave you off with some pictures from the gala, because I felt so pretty and I think that showed all night. 🙂