Valentine’s Day Weekend

This weekend and so far this week had been a bit of a whirlwind. Wednesday night I flew down to Florida for my cousin Danielle’s wedding. I had such an amazing time, I went out with people almost every night which was such a nice break because I don’t normally do that. We went to a bunch of different bars and just didn’t have a care in the world. I think I needed it, because I don’t think I have drank like that in years. I had a really great time.

The night we flew in, the partying immediately started and I don’t regret a thing.

The wedding was so much fun as well. Everything was planned really well and the food was amazing. I felt really good about myself in the dress I wore because I could see noticeable changes in my body from the first time I tried it on and that was a big deal for me. Recently I haven’t weighed myself at all and I didn’t get weighed in last week so I have no idea where I stand when it comes to losing or gaining weight. I also haven’t worked out in a week. I have noticed my clothes are getting more loose by the day still. I have been on top of my eating habits as much as I can given my emotional state from the rest of my life, so I am going to keep going.

The weekend was a good one, although once I got home things were hard. I realized I have a lot to think about and consider when it comes to life, careers, and what I want to do when I grow up. I’m not sure what has made me have all these realizations, but in the end I just want to be happy no matter what I am doing in my life. Right now, this is not the case, and I am going to dedicate myself from now on to finding what I need to be happy and a career that makes me happy every day as well. I am on my way to figuring it all out. I have the weight watchers part of my life down pretty well, so it’s something I don’t need to work as hard on because it’s become a routine, now I need to chip away at the rest of the things that make me unhappy.

All I want is to be happy, and I’m figuring it out.

Weigh In

I had a great weigh in today, but I really could not have cared less about what happened on the scale. I lost 1.2 pounds which is right on track for what weight watchers tells you to lose. When I woke up this morning and I was getting changed, I noticed something different about myself. I noticed a difference in my legs when I looked at myself from the side, how much more muscular they looked than they had before. Excuse me for this one, but I really noticed how much good those squats are doing me. But most of all, I noticed just how much flatter my stomach has gotten over time. Just noticing those things before my weigh in made me not even care what happened when I got there. obviously when I did end up losing it just made me feel that much better. this week, I am going to Florida for a few days, so I will be looking at my weight, but next week I will be starting to request only whether I lost or gained and not looking at my weight. thankful for another successful week!

Weight Watcher Wednesday Thoughts

Today, a good friend of mine commented on my weight. She said “You look great! Have you lost more weight?” and I was so flattered. It’s occasionally really nice to hear people say things like that. Today was a day that the pick me up was nice. Some days you just really aren’t feeling right, your’e sad, you’re cranky, and that little compliment can make you feel good. Last week, I really was not feeling right about any of this weight loss stuff, and I even physically just did not feel like myself. The issue absolutely was the things I was eating. It showed on the scale too with my small weight gain, but I didn’t let it bother me. I had to many other things to focus on from the week.

As she complimented me, she also commented on the fact that my jeans look big on me and that she thought it was time to go to the next size down. For some reason, this was a strange thought to me. I pulled the jeans out to show how much room I had in them, and how baggy they were in the worst places, but I still tried to come up with every reason why I couldn’t fit into the next size smaller.

Why do we do that? Someone says, you have lost weight, your pants are huge on you, and you just say “Well, I have huge thighs so I don’t think the next size smaller would fit me”. Why are we unable to just say “Thanks”? It is the most bizarre thing ever. I want to be able to just take the compliment for what it is but for some reason it’s hard for me to do, no matter who it is from. But Laur if you read this, thanks for the little boost in confidence. I may act like I hate compliments but sometimes they help me see the things I can’t.

Looking in the mirror sometimes doesn’t just work for me. I notice big changes when I put two pictures next to each other, but besides that I still feel like the person I was 40 pounds ago some days, which I think holds me back a whole lot. Mentally, I don’t believe I have lost the weight and I am convinced that I need to be cautious with the things I wear, and do. But that mentality needs to go. I think I’m going to add something to “the list of shit I need to work on”- that something being lose the “fat kid” mental block. I am clearly able to do much more than I am letting myself, so I have to let go and just TRY. I think my problem is I want to be good at everything and I don’t want to have to modify wods or be nervous when I see what is coming up because I’m afraid I can’t do something. It’s probably asking a lot of myself, really, but it would be an amazing feeling to just be confident in what I can do.

With all my stress out there in the open, I will move onto a more positive topic. The whole reason I started this journey was essentially to be healthy. I wanted to reverse the PCOS I have, I wanted to reduce the stomach issues I had, all kinds of reasons. But the last straw was getting a coupon for the Ralph Lauren outlet in the mail. I was so sad and depressed that I couldn’t shop there anymore because I didn’t fit in the clothes, so I decided to do something about it. I have a ton of RL oxford shirts I got while I was in high school, but once I hit college, I could hardly wear them.

This is the last time I was able to wear one of them, and even this was pushing it for me. That’s when they started to get tight. Since then, they have been with my aunt who was lucky enough to be able to wear them! Once I started training, I asked for them back and tried them on. The arms were so tight, The shoulders would have torn if I moved, and the buttons didn’t even come close to buttoning. Today, I tried one on. Not only did it fit perfectly in the arms and shoulders…but I was able to button it all the way. Clearly, it doesn’t fit like it used to, but getting it buttoned was the best step I could have taken in the right direction. I will be shopping there again in no time at this rate 🙂

I have been recognizing the importance of non scale victories more and more lately. It’s also been a nice distraction from the scale, and much more rewarding as well.

Here’s to many more.

This week was a weird week for me. As I had posted, I didn’t feel quite right, I just knew I was going to gain some weight, and I did. I gained two pounds, but I had 3 weeks of huge losses so I knew it was coming. Not only that, but this week I wasn’t as organized, I was packing lazy lunches, not eating enough…it was a bit of a mess this week. 

BUT, with that being said, I had a great week this week at crossfit, I did some really intense workouts that I almost skipped, and I fit into the jeans that were a size smaller!

 

There I am down at the end working on my set of 75 wall balls. We were supposed to do 150 wall balls, 90 double unders, and 30 muscle ups, but i modified it and did half of everything except the double unders. I did 1.5 times the amount of regular jump roping, and i did ring pulls ups. All of that had to be done in 12 minutes. I felt good about all I was able to accomplish in the short amount of time we were given. 

My point is that even though I didn’t have a good week at my weight in, I had a great week when it came to other non scale victories. Those are just as important. 

Get Fit Jean Challenge Week 3

The jeans zip. They’re tight, but they zip. I have nothing else to say because I’m in shock and I’m excited and I just can’t believe they even zip. 3 weeks ago, I could hardly pull them all the way up and the zipper didn’t go up at all. This is what hard work and dedication can do.

I don’t even feel like I have to say much more because the picture speaks for itself.

Can’t stop now!

Thank you Weight Watchers and Crossfit 41 South!!

Thursday workout.

Thursdays workout was so great, and I am glad I went. This morning was pretty amazing too.

On Thursday, we learned how to do push jerks and split jerks, which was awesome. I really enjoyed doing them, and I thought for just learning it, I did a really good job. It is sometimes a little hard and intimidating working out with people who are in much better shape than I am. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I do the wrong thing? What if I fall or trip or can’t keep up? It’s a bit hard sometimes for me to want to go to crossfit because I think about who is going to be there and if I’m going to make a fool out of myself, even though the people there have all been so nice so far. But I remember how great I feel once I do the workout, so I go and I try the best I can.

That particular day, I felt okay with what we were doing, and I had a really good time even though it wasn’t a beginner class. It was hard. We did back squats but had to follow along with a song they played, so we could only stand up when they say “bring sally up”, and go down when they say “bring sally down”. We had to hold the squat position and it was so hard, but it felt good I could accomplish it.

Today, we used the erg, we jump roped, and we learned how to do thrusters. I think the open gym on Sundays will be a good thing, as long as I record what we have been doing in workouts and then I’m able to do them on my own then. I’m really glad I went this morning and I am thankful to everyone at the gym. I’ve already made strides towards my goal, and combining this with how I’ve been eating, I should hit it by April, like I want to. 🙂

Throwback Thursday.

I like to remind myself of where I was and where I have gone so far, so I figured a “throwback thursday” post would be the perfect way to do that. I tend to forget that I’ve actually made progress, and I still feel like the person I was 40 pounds ago. I’m making strides, I’m still going forward, and I have finally found a routine that works for me. I was motivated before, but now I’m even more motivated than that. 

Here’s to who I was before, who I will never be again, and who I am (shortly) going to be 🙂

Working out tonight.

Crossfit was cancelled tonight due to the insane amount of snow we have, but our coach posted a workout for us to do on our own time anyway! It went as follows, 14 minute amrap:

• air squats
• push ups
• burpees
• sit ups

start with 3 reps of each movements, then go to 6, then 9….etc etc. I haven’t been feeling great so I adjusted it a little bit to what I felt more comfortable with, while still getting in a good workout. I did the air squats just as they were given, but instead of the push ups, I did basic bicep curls with 8 pounds of weight in each hand. I didn’t have the tools in my house to have any assistance doing the push ups, but I still wanted to do some arm work out, so I chose those. I felt that it was a good replacement for it. After that was the burpees. Again, last time I tried them I had some mental breakdown, so instead of doing that I broke it down into a plank. That is something I am working on for myself, and I don’t think my lungs (or my brain) could have handled the burpees.

Again, I’m proud of myself for even working out at all, I just had to adjust accordingly to what I could handle since I have some sort of chest cold.  Last, we had our sit ups.

Since I adjusted everything else, I added a medicine ball in with the sit ups, just to make them a bit more difficult for myself, and so I didn’t feel like by adjusting anything else, I was cheating myself out of a good workout.

Overall, I think the fact that I took it upon myself to get motivated and just do it was a step in the right direction. I may have altered some things but it was better than sitting on the couch not doing anything at all. I’m proud of myself. I’m hoping the gym is open tomorrow so we can make up the class, but if not, I’ll make something up similar to what I did today!

Hope everyone else had a good night, and if you’re somewhere that it is snowing please stay inside and stay safe!

Get Fit Jean Challenge-Week 1

Since I lost 4 pounds this week, I was hoping that there would be some progress with the jeans. Last week, I could get them completely up, but they weren’t even close to zippering. You can see under my sweatshirt the flap is still open, and it’s basically a hot, hot mess. I pulled as hard as I could and I sucked it in but there was no hope for me there.

Today, I put them on and I could zip them to a little less than half way! Yay! 😀

For one week, and not being able to zip them at all, I think that is pretty great! I don’t have a time limit or a date for this, it’s just until they fit, which puts much less pressure on me. I don’t know why I didn’t think of doing something like this before, but I really like it now. A little bit of progress every week are steps towards the bigger ultimate goal at the end of all this. Baby steps and taking it one day at a time.

I didn’t get to go to Crossfit this saturday because my shoulders were shot, and I felt going would do more harm than good, especially since I am just starting. I didn’t want to risk hurting myself and then not being able to go at all, so last week I went 3 times, and this week I will aim for another 3 and I will just keep moving forward as I have been!

I’m happy I finally found something that seems like it will be my key to success. Here’s to another week!

I lost 4 pounds this week, for a total of 7 pounds during the 2 weeks of Simple Start.

I made the decision that from here I am going to move onto simple filling. I am going to eat from the list just like I did following simple start, but if my family goes out to dinner or we have an event to go to, I will have the option to use some of the 49 points as a safety net. Also, I could still occasionally enjoy some of the treats I like to have during the week without using up all 49. It seems like the perfect solution for me.

I used the 7 points a day with simple start, but it didn’t leave much room for anything else. Sometimes you want to have your all power foods meal, but also fries on the side, or a big salad and that slice of pizza that has been haunting you. Simply filling introduces you into a more realistic way of living where you still stick you all your powerfoods for 80% of the time, but then you can have your 49 points a week to use on things as you’d like the rest of the time.

With simple start, I tried to avoid going out to eat for the 2 weeks, and I don’t think that is a realistic way to live, but I can at least have the option to following simply filling, which I like 🙂

I am happy with the progress I have made these past two weeks, and I think along with the way I have been eating and working out, my attitude towards it all has also made a huge difference.

Here is to the power of positive thinking.